To My Beloved Sakurai Sho
I've been waiting for today since early January because I want to write something as congratulatory post for Sho's birthday. I thought many things about what I want to write, but I also have many works to be done this month. So, I decide to write the story about how I become Sakurai Sho's fan, also Arashi. Even what I'll write down here not really long, but I wish many many many good things for you, Sakurai Sho.

I really know about Arashi since 2012. Even I knew Matsumoto Jun and love him when I watched HanaDan when I was in highschool, 2006, I only knew that he is a member of Japanese boyband. When I was in highschool, I was not really into internet and didn't know where and how I can see (or download) overseas video. When I got in to college, I started learning more about internet. At first, my friend told me about Korean variety shows, like WGM and Running Man, and made me really attracted to Korean stuffs. In 2012, I faced trouble when I wrote my Bachelor Degree thesis. I found it very difficult and I felt depression of myself. Honestly, I can't state clearly the reason why I demotivated and stress about my thesis. When I think about it, I don't know and maybe I'm forget what happened back then. (back to the topic) When I had this problem, my coping was switching my bad-negative emotion to good-positive emotion. Day after day, I spent my time watching movies, series/dramas, and variety shows. One day, after I finished watching almost anything in my hard drive which is Korean and US shows, I started looking for Japanese shows. I remembered that I love Japan and have a dream to school in there when I was in highschool. I have juniors who learn Japanese literature in my dorm. I asked them if they have Japanese shows, like dramas or variety shows, and luckily they are. Because they are Arashian, so most of shows they recommended were Arashi-related. So, since then I started watching Arashi.
First, I watched first/pilot episode of Arashi ni Shiyagare. My first impression was not really great. I thought it wasn't really funny. Maybe it because I've very familiar with Running Man which more active physically than just talk show like AniShi. Honestly, I also judged that MatsuJun is the only one who atractive in Arashi and assume that he is the most famous and has the most fans. After watched one episode of AniShi, I switched to watching dorama. I decided to watching Yamada Taro Monogatari because it Japanese version of Poor Prince. When I watched the first episode, I found it funny but still didn't get the reason why they choose Nino and Sho as the casts. I saw them not really handsome (maybe because I compered them to Vic Zhou who is very handsome to me). But I wasn't stop watching YamadaTaro because the story is interesting and entertaining. The second episode is the turning point of my fan-girling life. I saw Mimura Takuya smiling and laughing every time he saw the innocent Yamada Taro. I saw sincerity in his eyes whenever he smiles like the happiest person in the world. I fallen in love to him.

After I finished watching YamadaTaro, I watched Arashi ni Shiyagare again. After saw some episodes, I'm more in love to Sho. I always like a guy who smart and has good humor. Of course Sho is ridiculously smart. For the information, my bias of K-pop groups usually a leader or/and a rapper [This is my bias lists of K-pop before I'm Arashian: Super Junior - KyuHyun (yes, he is the exception but he dreams to be a rapper too); MBLAQ - SeungHo (he is the leader); ShinHwa - Eric (he is the leader and the rapper); BEAST - JunHyung (he is the rapper, yet he has the leadership)]. So, when I knew that Sho is the rapper, I really excited. And when I knew that he is like the shadow leader of Arashi, it convinced me that my ideal man is someone who can make me laughed, discuss anything with me, and guide me to be a better person (also the bonus if he can rap ^_^). I found my ideal man in Sho. The more I learn about Sho, the more I love him.
For Sho's 35th birthday, I want to draw him although I'm not good at it. But, I couldn't find the time to did it so I can only made this.

Sakurai Sho, I always adore and love you. I wish you to found the happiness of your life like you bring the happiness of my life. Omedetou Sakurai-san *kiss and hug for you*

Where will I work?
Okay, this past two days really get me down. The reason is because I failed in two job recruitment process and I got the results on the same day - yesterday.
First job is a bank job, and actually I didn't excited to worked at bank before. But as I succeed each step and become familiar to the company, I found myself really excited to get this job. But I failed in the last step, director interview. Such a sad news because I just need to go through medical check up and I'll start my career in there T__T.
Second is job in multinational company. This company is really great FMCG company in my country and renowned as its difficult selection process. I've passed until leaderless group discussion (LGD) step. I don't know how to passed this step because I've failed before on another company selection test. And before I start the LGD, I got email about my failure in the first job. I feel so down and very negative after that.
I know that happened because they aren't destined for me. But I'm still down because I don't when I'll get another opportunity like those. I just can keep going and fight to be a better person to get better opportunity. I hope I can boost my mood as soon as possible.

what sould I do?
You said nothing when I'm asking you what's the problem
After some weeks, I asked you again and you only idle
If we can't communicate now, how we will communicate in future?
Is it wise if I wish you or me will change as time goes? I think it isn't
People may change, only under circumstances.
So, what should I do to make us worked?

- many things that I want to talk, but we still in silence -

櫻井翔 は 34さいです

おめでとう 桜井 翔 😊
*I drew this for my favourite "well of the sakura" 🌸🌸*

adult's problems
I'm 25 and still looking for what I really want to do for the future
Actually, I have many thoughts and plans that I want to do
But, I have many things to be considered and now I still do nothing
I hope I can find the best plan for myself as soon as possible
You'll get as much as you done.
So, do the best for being the best!!!

Trying to be a productive person
oh God... I think I'm the laziest one in the world
I keep procrastinating my works T_T
I hope I can change this bad habit before I turn to 25 years old next month
For the start, just do what you have to done without imagining it before
JUST DO IT! yosh!!

Everybody said that you are a fool if doing same mistake twice
So I think I'm an idiot cause I do it again and again
I don't know how can I become a bad person who can't learn from past
I don't know if I'm a stubborn or just a forgetful person
I just want to become a better person. But how?

A Letter for Me
If what you have done is wrong, go apologizes!
If you think other angry with you, go question!
Just do something despite nothing while you feel antsy
Talk to someone and tell your desperation
I just hope you get yourself back to the right wheel

OKE everybody...!!! Here it is, my first post *clap* *clap* *clap*
Honestly, I don't know what I have to say (or write) and I'm not an active person on social media
I already have tumblr that rarely updated. but I'll work harder for this livejournal, so my account will not deleted :D
I also hope this journal will improve my english
Nice to meet you all


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